


Don't Leave Me

by Fade_Writer13



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alistair left in fade, Grief, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, drunk and violent cullen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5917486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fade_Writer13/pseuds/Fade_Writer13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alistair stayed behind in the fade but left a lover behind. Cullen learns of Alistair's fate, he does not take it well.</p>
<p>Prompt: Cullen's reaction to Alistair staying in the fade</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me

"It's the Inquisitor!!" Cullen's heart leapt. "They've retuned! Alistair's returned!" He thought to himself as he rushed to the rift. He could see Hawke, Varric, Bull, Dorian and the Inquisitor once he had gotten closer...but not Alistair. Where was Alistair? "Sir! The arch demon flew off as soon as you fell in the rift. Most of the wardens are alive and ready to serve if permitted." A senior warden approached the Inquisitor. "We wish to atone for what we did while following Carel your worship..." The warden looked around. "Where is Warden Alistair." Cullen watched the Inquisitors face fill with grief. "He...stayed behind." The Inquisitor straighter himself out taking a deep breath. "Warden Alistiar died a hero. He gave his life taking down an agent of not only the blight but Corypheus as well, so we could take him down. His sacrifice will never be forgotten." Cullen felt his legs turn to jello. He couldn't believe his ears, Alistair, was dead. 

~*~

Cullen locked himself in his office for hours at a time, eventually the Inquisitor noticed his strange behaviour and decided to confront him about it. Cullen swirled a dark liquid around in his drinking glass, having already polished off a bottle and a half of brandy. He heard a knock at the door and looked at his glass before staring at the door it with piercing eyes. "Enter..." He said in a gruff tone. The Inquisitor slowly entered the room, wrinkling his nose at the overwhelming stench of alcohol. "Cullen...have you been in here drinking all day? That's not like you....is everything alright?" Cullen abruptly stood up and sent his glass hurtling though the air and narrowly missed the inquisitors face, glass smashing on the wall behind him. "No, I am not ALRIGHT!" The Inquisitor looked at him, shocked at his actions. "Why would I be ALRIGHT.!" He glared at the Inquisitor, nothing he could do or say could make up for leaving Alistair in the fade. Even seeing the man responsible for his lovers death in front of him drove him crazy. 

"You left him...YOU FUCKING LEFT HIM!!!" He slammed a fist onto the desk. The Inquisitor jumped back a bit. "Cullen what you talking about?!" Cullen laughed a little before standing straight up, hands on his hips. "What am I talking about?! HA! Don't play dumb with me Inquisitor. You could have saved him!!! But no!!!! He wasn't important enough! Hawke was....so would you have saved him if had been the Hero of Fucking Ferelden!!!" At last it clicked, the Inquisitor slowly realized that he was talking about Alistair. "Cullen...you are a bit drunk....I think you should stop-" Cullen yelled a he chucked a book at him, hitting him dead straight in the nose. "EHAT HE FUK!!!!" He covered his face withy his hands moving one away only to find it covered in blood. "Get out....GET OUT!!!" Cullen began to yell, the Inquisitor just shook his head before storming out. 

Cullen slumped back down into his chair sighing. He closed his eyes, eventually falling into a light, restless sleep. The was a sudden bang on his door which startled him, he barely had time to collect himself before Cassandra and Leliana burst in. "Cullen Rutherford, what in Andrastes name is wrong with you?!?" Cassandra exclaimed. Cullen stayed silent, staring at them. He watched Leliana as she made her way around the table to him, she pulled him up out of the seat hugging him. "Leliana?!" Cassandra watch with confusion. "I miss him too Cullen." She pulled away looking him in the eyes. "He was one of my greatest friends, he will never be forgotten but we must remain strong for him." Cullen could see the tears forming in her eyes as his own vision begun to blur. "He was the one I loved....and now he's...he's...." Cullen could hear his voice breaking as he broke out into a sob. The Inquisitor walked back in, nose no longer bleeding to find both his commander and spymaster sobbing. He looked at Cassandra who just shrugged her shoulders. Cullen noticed him in the room, sighing he bowed to the Inquisitor. "Forgive me for my actions Inquisitor." He said between standing straight, wiping tears from his eyes. "No Cullen, it is me who needs to apologize. I should have thought my decision through before allowing anyone to stay behind....but I didn't and we've lost a great man because of that..." 

He took two letters out of his pocket handing the first to Leliana. "This arrived for you and Leliana...you may want to read it. This one however..." He gave the second one to Cullen. "This one arrived for you...from Alistair." Cullen looked at the name on the envelope as Leliana opened the other one. "May I read this out loud?" Everyone nodded as she unfolded the letter.

My Dearest Cullen and Leliana,

Forgive me as I cannot be with you during this time of mourning. I wish I could be there for you. But my quest to end the calling is ever more important now. Cullen, I have sent something to you in honour of his memory. He has a name...you'll see when he arrives. Also Cullen, I'm sorry I couldn't bring the two of you together sooner. Forgive.

Former Warden Commander and Hero of Ferelden

Ami Amell

Cullen moved towards the window looking out, eyes stinging with more tears. A courier came in holding a basket. "Commander, this also arrived for you." Cullen turned, taking the basket. "Yip!!" Everyone stopped and stared at the basket as a mabari puppy head popped out with a tag around its neck. Cullen grabbed the tagged, turning it over revealing the name. "Barkspawn...Barkspawn..." Barkspawn hipped a few more times before Cullen took him out the basket hugging him. The Inquisitor, Cassandra and Leliana left Cullen alone with his new puppy. Cullen sat on the ground in front of his desk and begun playing with Barkspawn. "I know now...that you'll definitely be with me where ever I go now."

~*~

Cullen, 

If your reading I am dead it means I've been struck down by an agent of the blight or failed to stop the events at adamant. I'm sorry this must be hard for you and I shouldn't have vanished but you know me that always have to help people. I understand if you don't wish to forgive me but I hope one day Barkspawn may make his way into your heart. Remember Cullen.....I will always love you...may we reunite by the makers side one day.

Alistair Theirin

**Author's Note:**

> I've been in this situation before and I ended up tearing up while writing this but it was worth it.


End file.
